


Even if it's raining heavily 想你

by KimTanAnukite



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, EXO Planet, Hurt/Comfort, Idols, Kim Junmyeon | Suho/Wu Yi Fan | Kris - Freeform, Kim Junmyeon | Suho/Wu Yi Fan | Kris-Centric, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-26
Updated: 2019-07-27
Packaged: 2020-05-21 08:38:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19371214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KimTanAnukite/pseuds/KimTanAnukite
Summary: "You agree with this?""You know that's not how things in this industry work, Junmyeon.""You can always find a way out of it, haven't you before?"





	1. 1 | 有些模糊记忆 There are some blurry memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> About the title:  
> 即使淋着大雨 [Even with heavy rain]
> 
> The title is a key to the plot of the story, and it's also inspired by Kris' song Miss You (想你)(feat. Zhao Liying)  
> Chapters will be called after lines from that song.
> 
> ♡
> 
> Unlike Junmyeon I'm not perfect (and English is my second language): feel free to point out any error so I can improve my writing.  
> I wasn't going to use honorifics because I'm still learning their use, but they carry a lot of meaning for this story and plot so, please correct me if I am misusing them ♥ 
> 
> ♡

♡

The sound of rain and wind hitting the walls and windows was muffled inside the building; the smell of damp earth turning into the smell of coffee and cleanliness. 

He forced a smile on his face and bowed to his seniors on his way to the elevator. It was the first week off the group had in months, and all Junmyeon wanted to do was to stay in his house and take a bath after ordering some take out and turning his phone off, completely disconnected from the outside world. But of course the leader didn't get to do any of those, his manager called him into the company to discuss something he apparently couldn't share on the phone.

Typhoon season was starting early this year; Junmyeon didn't exactly hate rainy weather, but the wind had snatched his umbrella as soon as he stepped outside the car and his shoes were now ruined, he felt sorry for the cleaning staff.

"Hyung!" Junmyeon slipped on the hall, barely managing to get into the elevator.

"Oh, Junmyeon-ah. I'm glad you came, I know it's your first day off but you'll see, this is an emergency."

"What kind of emergency, hyung?"

"Some of our Chinese labels need some help only we can provide."

"And I guess those strategies involve EXO?"

"Yeah, something like that..."

Junmyeon frowned, his manager was notoriously nervous. Out of habit, he listed in his mind all the possible outcomes of the meeting, maybe they were planning a Chinese version of their last repackage, or an appearance on a Chinese variety show, even a collaboration with some known artist; it couldn't be a OT9 comeback, not with Yixing promoting his new album.

"You can take your shoes off, you know were the slippers are."

As Junmyeon walked further into the big office he noticed a tall figure looking out the window.

No. 

The man turned to face him, "Junmyeon." He had stopped being a possibility in Junmyeon's mental lists years ago.

"What is this, manager Lee?"

The sound of rain and wind hitting the wall made of glass was muted by the blood rushing on his ears. The annoyance of having to work on his day off was replaced by an anxiety induced by an avalanche of memories, Junmyeon couldn't tell if they were good or bad memories.

He suddenly felt extremely uncomfortable, self conscious of his ruined cloths and shoes, his bare face, and his disheveled hair.

"Jun-"

"A collaboration with Kris Wu, that's your plan," he laughed incredulous.

"Junmyeon, this is not something I, or him, suggested. CEOnim arranged this with Interscope and Island Records. Everything is set already, you only have to break the news to the rest of the members, and resolve any issues from the past that could interfere with the fan service we-"

"You agree with this?" Junmyeon sneered not even looking up.

"You know that's not how things in this industry work."

"You can always find a way out of it, can't you ge?"

The rest of the members was on good terms with Kris, but it was different with Junmyeon, it took him time to get over losing some of his band mates, especially the other leader. He understood Kris' wish to leave the group, and he supported him on his decision, but that didn't help the feeling of betrayal. The older stopped calling and texting him once he was out, he still talked to the other members, only Junmyeon he seemed to have forgotten.

"One more thing, Junmyeon-ah, it's not a group collaboration the company wants, they'll give both of you all the details at the end of the week. I expect you to be professional."

Junmyeon bowed at manager Lee and left the room not even sparing a look at Kris.

He didn't greet anyone on his way out of the building, he didn't even care to grab an umbrella to cover himself from the now heavy rain.

~*~

I had a reunion with manager Lee. Kris is in Korea.

As soon as Junmyeon sends the text on the chat group he turns his phone off, and goes ahead with his original vacation plan. Except the water heater seems to be broken, he forgot to ask for no onions on his take out, and now someone's knocking on his door.

"Hyung."

"Myeonnie, I know you want to be alone, but I figured it would be better if you weren't."

"That doesn't make sense, hyung."

"No, but here I am. Now move, I brought food."

Junmyeon closed the door behind Minseok, following him to the couch, "Thanks. For being here."

"Come here."

Junmyeon sat next to him and lay his head on the older's shoulder.

"Do you want to talk about it or..?"

"I don't understand, hyung. I thought I got over him, but I couldn't even look him in the eye- I- Why did I have to fall in love with him? Why did he comeback?"

Minseok sighed, "I don't have an answer for you now, but don't let this get to you; you're the strongest leader I've ever seen."

~*~

Professional? He was one of the most professional idols in SM Entertainment, he had accepted an award by himself after.. well.. after that. He was able to manage difficult situations before, more challenging than seeing him after all this time. Junmyeon smiled at his perfect reflection in the mirror.

"A reality show, with him; I can do that.."

That felt like a lie more than it should.

The bathroom door opened and soon his reflection was in company of a taller figure, Kris stood beside him but looking at him through the mirror.

"Are you okay?"

"Of course I am."

"You're worried."

Junmyeon smiled amused. How would he know his emotions as to confidently state them.

"As I said in the meeting room, the guys will be more than happy with this, the fans though.. There's going to be mixed reactions."

"You don't think they'll like me back."

"I know it, Kris."

"Would you stop that?" He went to grab Junmyeon's arm but the younger got out of the bathroom before any contact was made, not wanting this conversation to go personal.

Comeback preparations will be postponed.


	2. 2 | 藏在心中秘密  I have some hidden secret [in my heart]

"We have three months to resolve our differences, so the fans see that we are all on good terms even now. And by _we_ they clearly meant _me_."

"You can do it, hyung," Kyungsoo sipped his coffee with an apologetic smile, "you only need to be sincere with him."

"As in telling him how I felt back then when we were co-leaders, and how I felt when they left, and how I am a failure and couldn't get over those feelings yet? Soo, do you have an idea how humiliating that'd be?"

The younger sighed nodding, "Then you have to get better on pretending this doesn't affect you; otherwise the shooting will be awkward and the fans will notice something's off."

"I know."

After Minseok, Kyungsoo was the member Junmyeon trusted more with his struggles and problems like Kris Wu. They were the only two who knew of Junmyeon's crush on the former leader; they were both very supportive, and have kept the secret all this time.

"Tell me more about the show."

"Well, Kris is staying in Korea for three months, so they are sending us both to China at the end of September. Remember the show in which Minseok hyung stayed in this house with other idols and had vacations together? It's pretty much that, except Kris will be my only company in that house, and it's not really vacations."

No wonder why he was anxious. It wouldn't be the first time he spent a long period of time alone with Kris, but it was the first time since the leader of the Chinese sub unit decided to leave the group. He also needed to practice his Chinese so he could at least not depend on Kris all his time at China.

"I'm sure you can survive a week hyung, and we'll make sure to video call you everyday. But now, let's work a bit in your awkwardness. You should call him this week, take him out for a coffee, and then talk about the good memories of the past, once you are comfortable enough you can bring the legal-related topics."

Junmyeon considered it a good idea, _I'll call him tomorrow_.

Except that thought remained being that, only a thought. He procrastinated contacting Kris until manager Lee asked how things were going between them and his mind wasn't fast enough to make up a lie before the manager sighed over the phone, _"Junmyeon, I know you are busy with leader responsibilities, but you have to make time to sort out whatever conflict you have with Kris."_

"Is not that I have a conflict with him, hyung. I am just not completely comfortable with you putting me in a house with him after years of not seeing each other."

_"I thought I asked you to be professional."_

"I am always professional, stop worrying."

It was the first sunny day in a while, so Junmyeon considered it perfect to take a walk outside. After finishing the call, he stepped out of the house and put his headphones on. Twenty minutes later he noticed someone was walking behind him but not passing by even when he slowed down his pace.

"How annoying.. Excuse me-" as he turned around the man awkwardly waved at him.

"Thought I could join.. We need to talk."

Kris lead him to a bench isolated from the people walking on the park. They both sat down but neither talked. Kris' phone ringed and he had a short conversation on Mandarin that Junmyeon could understand a bit but didn't pay much attention to, he only knew the rapper sounded rather upset.

"Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, just manager, nagging."

"Oh."

"How have you been?"

"Busy."

"Junmyeonnie-"

"You said we needed to talk, so talk."

Junmyeon was purposely avoiding eye contact.

"I know you are not comfortable me like before, but I was hopping we can be okay for the shooting, for fans."

"We will."

"Then talk to me, I've been here for month now and this is only the third time I see you."

"Is not like we have to spend time together every day for the next two months. You leaving the band.. it's all in the past; but so it is our friendship. I don't want to be friends, Kris," he faced the rapper, "We haven't talked for years, and let's be honest, I don't think we will after all this is over."

"You don't know that."

"I do, Yifan," _and I don't think I can survive losing you again._

"No, you don't Myeon."

Junmyeon snorted to hide a sincere smile; Kris was persistent with things he believed in, he seemed convinced their friendship would be a thing again.

"It's manager again" he turned his phone off but stood up. "You think we can meet tomorrow?"

"No."

Kris bit his lower lip and nodded.

"I'm busy, but we can meet on Friday, if that's okay with you?"

"Yes, that'd be good."

~*~

Junmyeon followed Kyungsoo's advise, and sent Kris the address to a coffee shop near his apartment.

He was going to be professional. He had concealed his feelings before, it shouldn't be a problem now. Who knows? Maybe it could even work as an opportunity to get over said feelings. Junmyeon knew he was getting old, and he should consider seeing other people and maybe one day he would be happily married and the only thing that'd come to his mind with the name _Kris_ would be a rapper who he twice worked with.

"Who am I kidding?"

"Sorry I am late."

Junmyeon almost spilled his coffee when Kris sat across from him.

"That's fine, I didn't know what you would like so I only ordered for me," _liar_ "I hope you don't mind."

"No problem." He struggled a bit to order his drink, since Junmyeon didn't seem to want to help. "I haven't practice Korean in years, is it bad?"

"It's rather good, I'm sure you'll have no problem talking in Korean in two months. Hopefully I won't have to use any Chinese."

_Shouldn't have said that, he'll think you're lazy and never bothered in learning Chinese even for Yixing._

"I'm sure your Mandarin is not bad, and you always good on understanding it. But if you prefer, we can use Korean in show."

"It's okay if you talk in Mandarin, as long as it's slowly," they laughed.

They talked a little more, about the present and their most recent albums. They also mentioned the other members and even suggested a reunion with them—which Junmyeon was already planning not showing up to. Fortunately, for Junmyeon, Kris didn't brought up topics related with the past—being part of EXO or leaving the group.

Another call entered Kris' phone; Junmyeon supposed it was his manager so it was strange for him that Kris muttered a 'wait' in Mandarin over it and excuse himself before walking away from the table. Kris was near enough for Junmyeon to catch a 'babe' and a 'miss you'.

Not only was Junmyeon convinced Kris didn't have feelings for him, but if he ever had he was over them now—and he had someone Junmyeon may never be able to replace.

"Sorry," he was back at the table but Junmyeon was getting up, "you leaving?"

"Yes, I need to finish some work at the company before going to Minnie's place."

"I'll come with you, I have to go too there."

"No, I'm fine. I'll see you soon, I guess?"

Kris sighed but let him go with a nod.

_Another month passed by after that day before they met again._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you love angst and like Monsta X, I have a work on my profile on No.Mercy, you should ready it...


	3. 3| 我能否在你跟前 Can I be with you?

[A/N: Dialogues written in bold letters is what is being said in Mandarin]

 

"I missed you so much," despite the heaviness in his stomach, it fluttered at the feeling of those arms around him—and it was the same sensation with the rest of the guys, whom were all around him.

"Can't believe it took you two months of being in Korea to come and see us, ge," Xiumin joked letting go of the hug.

"I'm sorry, legal paperwork is finished now at least. Manager wouldn't let me come and see you until everything was sorted out with SM."

A few days ago Yifan and Junmyeon had agreed on the day and place to meet with the guys, so he was hoping to see the leader of EXO.

Taking advantage of his height, Yifan looked for Junmyeon on the living room of Xiumin's apartment. He learned later from Sehun that Junmyeon didn't show up to the group meeting because something came up at the company—only Kyungsoo and Minseok knew the real reason.

They sat on the living room to enjoy some Tteokbokki while catching up. It didn't feel as comfortable as before, when Yifan was still a part of their band; their relationship had been damaged by him and there was no coming back from that. Still, they spent a good time together; they challenged him to dance to MAMA, GROWL, and OVERDOSE, and he teased them for their Chinese.

Some minutes before midnight Yifan catched Baekhyun talking on the phone and heard him called the other person Myeonnie hyung, so there was no doubt Junmyeon was only ignoring Yifan's text messages.

"Hyung, you're only making things more awkward by hiding.. We'll go to your place then.. Yes we will, you are underestimating me, I have a key.. Sure? Okay, Bye!"

Yifan hurried back into the bathroom to pretend he was just coming out of it before Baekhyun could see him eavesdropping.

"Ge, you don't have to leave early, do you?"

The rapper shook his head with a frown.

"Great! Junmyeonnie hyung just called me and said he's on his way," he lied. Yifan wasn't oblivious of Junmyeon's devotion to avoid him.

Junmyeon came an hour later, and he brought iced coffee from the SM cafeteria with him. Did he really went all the way there to buy coffee just to keep up his act? Yifan snorted.

The leader of EXO sat on the floor near Minseok, even when there was a free space on the couch next to the ex-leader. The conversation was good once again, as if they were just old friends catching up.

"Here, I'll help."

At some point Junmyeon got up to take their cups to the kitchen and Yifan took advantage of this so he could be alone with the smaller for a moment.

"Is everything alright at the company?"

"Huh? Oh, yes," his smile didn't reach his eyes.

"You still work a lot, huh.." he murmured remembering the times when he was part of the group and Junmyeon would barely be present at the dorms to spend quality time with his members.

"Yes, I do. The company and group do need me, excuse me."

With a roll of his eyes Junmyeon attempted to escape from the kitchen but Kris got his arm before he could push the doors to the living room.

"What are you doing?" Junmyeon pulled his arm free and stayed in the kitchen.

"What are _you_ doing? I know you don't _like me_ any longer," Junmyeon flinched but Kris continued, "I thought you were too over what happened, it's been a long time, why do you have act like _this_?"

"I already told you the other day-"

"Yes, a fucking month ago. And I thought we were fine after that, but again it's been a month. You should have just tell managers that you were against their plans so I could be doing that stupid program with Jongdae or Chanyeol instead!"

"Is not everything just about you, Yifan. Don't you think you're the biggest problem in my life right now, nor my priority."

Kris ignored him and entered the living room where everyone was looking rather uncomfortable, it was obvious they've heard their argument.

"You don't have to leave," murmured Minseok following him to the entrance. "I'll talk to him."

"No, you shouldn't have to fix anything between us, hyung. It's him who is being immature. I don't have time for it," his phone was ringing on his hand. " **Give me a second, babe,** " he lowered the phone to say goodbye to the guys. "Thanks for having me today hyung. I hope we can all" _except Junmyeon_ "can meet again before I go back to America."

"We will all miss you," Kyungsoo stated with a forced smile and his eyes wondering to the kitchen door.

 

Junmyeon prepared himself for the looks and comments he would be getting from the other guys. As soon as he heard the door to the house close he walked into the living room but only Kyungsoo was there waiting for him.

"Where did they go?"

"Away. I stayed because I am not fast enough to run away from your stupidity."

"Hey! Watch what you say. I'm still your hyung."

"And I love you, but you are really acting immature."

"I know, I- I really can't be anywhere near him, Soo."

The younger sighed, "Next time you see him you'll be trapped in front of the cameras, and you'll have to be near him at all times. I know it's difficult for you, but is part of your job.. and you're one of the strongest person I know, I believe you can do this with the minimum amount of awkwardness, but you have to try."


End file.
